Piddle-Bum was a Giant who lived in a deep dark forest, and whose Farts were the loudest ever heard in all the land….
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Once upon a time, there were two dinosaurs called Squirty and Squelchy, who lived in the same deep dark primeval forest as Piddle-Bum the Giant. Would you like to know why they were called Squirty and Squelchy? Well, it was to do with their simply ENORMOUS poos….
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Piddle-Bum the Giant knows his ABC. Do you? Would you like to learn it with him? A is for Arse – what your mother calls bottom, B is for Balls – ask your father, he’s got-em….
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One day, Piddle-Bum the Giant woke up with a BIG problem. In the night, his enormous willy had turned into a trombone….
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Quite quickly, My Father is forced to conclude, by the unenthusiastic response his efforts receive, that the children’s publishing business is a closed shop; a cliquey cabal, operated by sour-faced, sexually frustrated blue-stockings, with none of the insight that he possesses into the literary tastes and psychological preferences of young children.
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